If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize