I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
