bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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