I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
