my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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