YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
