I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
