i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
