You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My life is pants optional.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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