3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
