eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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