i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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