5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
