Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
