Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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