Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I would ride that face into the sunset
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize