so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
