the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
