ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
