Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
