its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
