That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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