Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
