Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
