Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
FUCK WHALES
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
