My friends, they love my intelligence
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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