i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
