You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
