drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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