My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
