oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
