Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
