he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize