So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
