Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
