your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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