She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize