I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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