I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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