I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize