Buhtt sex?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
