here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
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