I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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