my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Come on in and take your pants off
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