Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize