FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
