she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i dont even know how to be here
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
