Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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