the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
