Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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