I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
