"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
