Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
