So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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