butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
