he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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