Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
