hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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