The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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