Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
