Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
