Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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