No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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