I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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