I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
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