just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
