This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
